(Source: sizvideos)

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

kidraaul:

fanfictions be like ”his eyes scanned the crowed and then locked with mine”

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mysteryplantgirl:

castielhasthephoneb0x:

i can nt breath this old man who has like the biggest onion ever is so pr ou d of it 

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LOOK HOW HAPPY HIS ONION MAKES HIM

this makes my heart smile

(Source: clumsycarl)


(Source: arthurtimothyread)

alivechihiro:

chumpersonable:

wulfriciceberg:

if I had to pick two internet personalities to have as parents I would pick dril and critikal

attending a parent-teacher conference for my bullshit son, I hopp up on her desk whenever she tries to speak. i will not be held accountable for the failings of my dickspawn

remember to rate the child, comment the child, and subscribe if you want to see more children like this one. see ya


(Source: alexleefitz)

precumming:

*gets drivers license* 

old person: looks like im gonna have to stay off the roads!

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(Source: precumming)

cake-and-grief-counseling:

there’s a difference between exercising your freedom of speech and assembly, and verbally and physically harassing people attempting to access legal healthcare services

hellazayn:

you deserve a zayn malik dont settle for a harry styles